Yikirta – Forgiveness
Friday, February 26th, 2010
by Mariam Fikre
EA4C Guest Blogger
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Yikirta – Forgiveness
I came to the United States in 1983 at the age of 11 and have yet to return to Ethiopia. During the years I lived in Ethiopia—Addis Ababa specifically—the concept of ethnic division and the animosity and injustices each carried about the other was unbeknown to me. From my memory, I lived with neighbors of various ethnic backgrounds whom I loved and regarded as an extension of my family. We ate, drank, celebrated and grieved together. Ever since I was a little girl, I always loved our diverse culture and music—Amaragna, Tigrigna, Oromogna, Guragegna, Dorzigna, Adergna to name a few—but for some reason I always had an extra love for Tigrigna.
It was not until I came to the United States that I was confronted head on by this ethnic division and animosity and became aware, for the first time, of the Ethiopia and Eritrea war. I became aware of this conflict when, at the school I was attending at the time, I met some Eritreans who introduced themselves as Eritreans and refused to refer to themselves as Ethiopians. For someone who always loved their music, culture and language, I felt betrayed by this notion. I could not understand why they did not want to be called Ethiopians. Not having any understanding of their history and reasons behind it, I became very disappointed and confused by it. Unfortunately, since all of us were very young at the time, we did not have the necessary conversation with one another to explain and understand where each of us was coming from.
Despite now being painfully aware of this fundamental difference, it still never stopped my family and I from continuing the most wonderful friendships we cherished with the Eritreans we considered a part of our family. This friendship was maintained by both sides overlooking the big elephant in the room. We each chose to love one another despite this omnipresent fact and never had an honest and open discussion about it with one another. Perhaps everyone was avoiding it for fear of it getting in the way of the friendship—that was until 1991 when Eritrea finally gained military victory and Meles Zenawi gained power of Ethiopia. All of the sudden, the cherished friendships became uncomfortable at best. When one finally felt free to celebrate the other felt betrayed. Without ever having the yet again necessary conversation where each side explained their feelings and reasons why, cherished friendships and relationships came to an end.
Feeling betrayed by this victory and the talk that the Meles Government was going to rule by dividing our beloved country along ethnic lines, I fell into the fear that this country we love was going to be split up to pieces and destroyed beyond recognition. So I felt compelled to attend the many marches around DC, thinking I was going to do all I can to save Ethiopia and unite all Ethiopians without any real understanding of the underlying issues behind these conflicts. Being an Amhara, I had no idea of the pain others that were not Amhara felt having their culture, language and identity not respected, appreciated and acknowledged. I had no idea what it will feel like to be in their shoes, to be teased or regarded as second class citizen for being anything other than Amhara. I later learned to understand the reason, why as an Amhara I was freely able to express my pride and others were not easily able to do the same. Since being Ethiopian was synonymous for being Amhara, I never had the experience of having to hide or made to feel ashamed of my cultural identity thus of course I will be proud to be Ethiopian and express it. But for the others whom were made to feel they had to give up or hide their identity to pass off and adapt to what it was decided was to be Ethiopian, my banner of pride is their banner of pain.
In retrospect, it seems that whichever group is in power, by default, will be the dominant culture. Inversely, those that are not of that group will naturally feel left out and unappreciated. As it can be seen today, now that we, Amharas, are not in power and no longer the same dominant culture as we once have been. We know now how the Eritreans, Tigreans, Oromos, Gurages and the rest felt when we were in power, we now know the feeling of being left out and disregarded and reason for the scar of resentment. Now we are the ones who are marching for freedom and democracy, now we are the ones who are forming, arming and training “freedom fighters”. So let us all—regardless of our ethnicity and/or our religion— use this as a lesson and an opportunity to avoid the same mistake we have made and continue to make. A mistake of grouping the people of that entire ethnic group and those in power as one and the same and blame them for the actions of those in power.
After years of personally attending many marches and meetings, what I came to realize is that these marches and meetings do nothing constructive but create further anger, mistrust and animosity towards one another. Exploiting the passion and genuine love we have for our country, the organizers of these marches and meetings tap into our deepest of emotion to further nothing but their own cause and agenda and line their pockets in the process. Over time, as I grew up and matured, my eyes and mind opened and I learned and continue to learn about life and what truly manners and does not. What time and experience has taught me is that our race, country, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, etc. does not make us who we are thus we should not define and box in ourselves nor one another along those lines.
Reality is, first and foremost we are all human and God’s creation thus we need to love, value and respect one another, for only through this understanding can we truly liberate ourselves from this cycle of hate and resentment we find ourselves in. Second, we all individually have our own God given unique personality and character thus we need to take the time to get to know one another as the individuals we are instead of the generalization and caricatures that we have placed on one another. Third, whatever acronym freedom fighting or political group that has been created and will be created on behalf of our respective countries, ethnic and or religion, in the end, once that group gain power, they will do what every other power before them have done. They will use us – the general public – for their gain by continuing to divide us as much as possible so they can rule us as long as possible.
The way I see it, mistakes have been made on all sides between Ethiopia and Eritrea and also internally within Ethiopia along ethnic, class and religious line thus we can all take ownership of this mistake. Even if we ourselves did not personally make the mistake, if we did not stand against it when we heard or witnessed it, then knowingly or unknowingly, stand equally guilty. With that said, I ask everyone including myself with the utmost respect and compassion, who then among us is truly the innocent, who is the lone victim and who is the sole victimizer and perpetrator? How much more suffering and destruction must we each endure and perpetuate on one another for us to “win”? What will quantify “wining” and “losing”? Are we willing to lose everything we have and can have for us to “win”? At what point do we say enough is enough? If we each admit of making these mistakes and ask for forgiveness would that make us weak, the loser? If we each open our heart and truly forgive would that make our cause worthless and our pain and suffering be in vain?
In the wise word of Mahatma Gandhi “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Thus, for us all to advance and improve our respective current condition, the only option and solution we have left is to acknowledge the pain and struggle of one another and forgive one another. War has never been nor will ever be the answer. So for myself, I say to everyone on all sides, yikirta!!!
This blog submission was written by Mariam Fikre. The views of guest bloggers are not the views of Ethiopian-Americans for Change. Guest bloggers represent the broad dissection of views and outlooks within our community.
Ethiopian-Americans for Change has started a powerful dialogue group where we exchange ideas and discuss historical grievances. The group contains a diverse group of Ethiopians and Eritreans. This is how we overcome our differences, not through bullets but through a dialogue.
Listen. Just the other day I was watching a crazy interview starring, who else, Issayas Afewerki. While its nice to “persevere” in the face of adversity to maintain your loving relationship with Eritreans it ain’t cool to do it at the cost of the rest of Ethiopia. Your “yikirta” smacks of that.
What freaked me out in Afewerki’s interview was not his obvious madness but the Eritrean response attacking the Al Jazeera reporter instead of apologizing for their crazy President. This is what goes for Eritrean logic. I have not personally lost anyone close in their war of independence. But your loving across the divide is a slap and spiut in the face of anyone who gave up their lives to keep this madman from doing what he is doing to Eritreans. And after Ethiopians sacrificed a lot of resources they all voted to become his harem.
Please spare the rest of Ethiopia.Making a place for them under our tent has proven time and again dangerous so if you want to play with them, I suggest you spare the rest of us and go play outside so all you risk is you and not everyone else. In other words don’t extend my hand in friendship for me. I don’t need your help in that regard. They are no friendlier, no worse to me than any other African country, and actually as a nation that has attacked Ethiopia they should not be extended even that level of civility. Though they should have been dealt with severely according to the rule of war they were very magnanimously left alone. From now on they should be dealt with according to what they bring, hostility answered with hostility. And definitely as long as Issayas is alive they should all go live with him and leave the rest of us alone. Again, if your heart genuinely feels for them, I think you should enjoy their hospitality but leave the rest of Ethiopians(unless they feel like you, which I doubt) alone.
BTB Meles did not divide the country and they did not start betraying you in 1991 when they achieved “military victory” ? BTW have you ever been in the Military, do you know what the term means ?
The Eritreans that were betraying all of us, you included, were doing so since the beginning of their movement under Osman Salah Sabbe. Here is a litmnus test. Ask your friends how they feel about the Akele Guzai, the Kunama, The Afar, Bilen, Rashaida. I know the answers they will insist these groups exist within an Eritrean polity. Heck most won’t even acknowledge these groups even exist.
No Meles did not divide your country. Eritreans did. All 3 mill of them when they sent their money and told their children lies to infect them with the disease of an Eritrea that(according to them) existed 10,000 years ago. Its not even good enough to be funny. The funny part is that the Eritrea of 10,000 years ago resembles remarkably the Eritrea the Italians created in the 1800’s after the British tricked Yohannes IV by replacing departing British and Egyptians with Italians in Massawa. So blame Eritreans, not Meles and not even Mengistu.
Dear Mariam,
Interesting article, very eloquently put. It is high time for Ethiopians and Eritreans to put their differences behind (it’s been 19 years since they’ve had their independence now). After having lived in the US for a while, I am now somewhere in Africa where — surprise surprise– Ethiopians and Eritreans mingle very well together. And for the first time in my life, I am hearing their side of the story, I mean, like you mentioned we never really got to hear their side as we were ‘fighting’ and how dare they say they are not Ethiopian!! But now that I am hearing them, I feel sad, their country is now a PRISON, where there is no prospect for the young, you’d be surprised how many Eritrean refugees there are in the Tigray region and if caught they will be executed. So many stories, they feel betrayed by Issayas. We can say ‘it serves them right’ , especially those who were in Ethiopia and sending money to the other side; but on the other hand, they were all brainwashed like we also were for that matter.
With regards to the other ethnic groups, there should be the biggest yikirta. It is really shameful the ideology of ‘Amarazation’. But we should move on, our country is the poorest of the poor and it needs all resources (human and physical) to be self sustaining even with regards to food security. I am not even comparing with the US, I am comparing with other African countries, we are very much behind in terms of food security, banking, IT, infrastructure, you name it so please let us live with one another peacefully and harness our comparative advantage as a diverse, multiethnic, proud, hard working, and beautiful country.
Dear Mariam Fikre,
I will forgive your innocense and lack of understanding Ethiopian history, however, I will never forgive Eritreans in thousands of years. I am also an Amhara but not the criminal and an oppressor that you are told to believe. Amharas are victims but not vitimizers. I urge your parents to read you about the treachery of Eritreans so that you do not join those who blame Amharas for everything bad that happened to Ethiopia. People who are not English don;t feel oppressed by the English language. Why should you believe that those who are not Amharas are oppressed because the Amharic language. No one, I repeat no one ethnic group was forced to accept the Amhara culture and denied to develop his/her culture. What you have been fed and made to believe is the wrong history of Amharas.
Let Eritreans stew in their own grease. What you should be concerned is your motherland Ethiopia but not the people who chose their slave name, “Eritreans.” There was no Eritrean nation until the Italians came to inslave them during the scramble for Africa. Moreover, no Ethiopian should forget the treachery of Eritreans during the Italian occupation of Ethiopia.
You should not apologize or ask forgiveness. Eritreans and all those who hate Ethiopia should do that.
Girma
Thank you for taking the time out to respond everyone. At the end of the day, we can go back and forth about the “truth” and “facts” of history that “proves” who was/is wrong and who was/is right all we want, but no good will ever come from that as we all know. When we refer to these “facts” as we have read or heard about them from history, let’s refer to them only as a lesson to learn from and not repeat but not to keep track of who was/ is right and who was/ is wrong, after all that is exactly what got us where we are right now. Only God knows the truth, the rest of us no matter how many books, experts we quote are still referring to someone’s opinion of the “truth”. As Senator Reid said to one of the republicans at the Obama Health Care debate “you are entitled to your own opinion but not your own fact” a great quote that applies to ALL of us.
If we want positive change to ever happen in our respective countries, all we have left to do which we have never done before is ask each other for genuine forgiveness and forgive one another honestly. But in order to do that, we all must first need to STOP generalizing, grouping, characterizing and labeling people according to our opinion and bias. Until we have spoken to all the Ethiopians (Amharas, Tigrais, Oromos, Gambellas, Aderes, Gurages and the rest of Ethiopians) and all the Eritreans, NONE of us can speak for or against an entire community as to what they feel, think, believe etc. None of us except for God are nor will ever be an expert of anyone else but ourselves and at times even that is questionable.
So for the whole idea of forgiveness, apology, understanding and collaboration – “Operation Yikirta” that I wrote about to work, we need on all sides to really let go of our egotistical need be the ones who are “right” and “innocent”. In the end, what happened, happened and cannot be changed or taken back by any of us and as I stated in my article, none of us are innocent and none of us are the sole victimizer and lone perpetrator, so enough with the hate, prejudice and score keeping of who was/is wrong and who was/is right, time to move on and start a new beginning. Instead of aiming and claiming of our willingness to die so our side can win, let us all start to aim to live so we ALL can win. Let’s all aim to spread the message of love and forgiveness instead of hate, ignorance, bitterness and vendetta which contributes to more killing and destruction. May the strong who have heart stand up and take my message of Yikirta and Forgiveness and apply it in their daily life. Amen!!!!
Clarification – The concept of “Operation Yikirta” is not suppose to be political but social. It is not suppose to be something where polically we are going to be apologizing to one another on behalf of our respective country with Eritreans and internally within Ethiopia. It is suppose to be an apology and forgiveness to start taking place within the people in our daily lives as we encounter one another. To make every attempt individually to stop the hate, assumption, judgment, animosity, bitterness and mistrust we may have towards one another internally and externally. Think about if we can take the lead and bait of our so called leaders and develope this much hatred, animosity and mistrust for one another, imagine if we now did the opposite and took the lead to apologize for all our individual wrong doing knowingly and/or unknowingly and forgive for all the wrong that was done to us knowingly and/or unknowingly.
“Operation Yikirta” is not exclusive to Ethiopia and Eritreans nor a one way yikirta to Eritreans. This is supposed to be done by all parties within Ethiopia along different ethnic and religious line and Eritrea. For “Operation Yikirta” to work, it must be a two way yikirta.
Saying yirkta to one another is not some sort of admittance of guilt or sign of weakness and defeat by those asking for the yikirta nor a sign of innocence, strength and power by those being asked for the yikirta.