Rockin’ the Fro
Wednesday, January 25th, 2010
by Liya Endale
EA4C Guest Blogger
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Hair is such a cultural symbol that it truly plays a much larger role in our lives than we realize at times. I cut my hair off around the same time as Brittany Spears. I looked in the mirror one day and realized I did not know what I was truly meant to look like because I had been perming my hair since I was eight years old. It was one of the best decisions I have made. I learned so much about myself through the reactions of others.
Often times, some of us have a quality or trait that society values, having nothing to do with who we are as individuals. Because of this one trait, people treat us completely different. Take away this trait, and we are left to contend with a new environment where our personalities play a much larger role in how others see us. First, I learned that a black girl must be absolutely insane to cut off her hair. I certainly didn’t feel insane or even act any differently, but people began to project their judgment onto me. Some thought, like Brittany Spears, I had had a nervous breakdown. In fact, I had just landed a very lucrative job in Buckhead (Atlanta) and was having a great time. Others assumed I was contending with some tragic event and tentatively reacted to seeing me with a gasp and a timid, “What happened?”
Then I realized that I began to attract a different type of guy than I had with long, straight hair. This is just a correlation for which I have no causal evidence, but the men who approached me were older, more intelligent and grounded. Certainly, the number of ‘hollars’ I received on a night out decreased but the quality increased. Many things changed in my life. When I spoke to people, they listened to what I said. Others made it clear that they had no interest in hearing what I had to say at all. What I learned about myself during this time has strengthened my faith in myself. I discovered strengths I did not know I had.
These discoveries have deepened my understanding of myself. And the best thing of all, I can spot a guy full of crap much faster now than I had before. So, when my little cousin asked me one day, “you mean you didn’t cut your hair because you went crazy like the whole family thought?” I laughed and said, “Nah. I just wanted to get to know myself a little more.”
Here is a conversation I had about hair with an anonymous Facebook associate. It’s a perfect example of how hair is perceived as a cultural symbol– and how such symbols can be fluid. He was responding to my photo on the Miss Africa USA Pageant website which you can see above.
Anonymous: “Hey just voted for you and got a couple of my boys to do so, too. But I must say, the hair style wasn’t the best choice for an Ethiopian beauty u know. But still, go out there and REPRESENT!”
My response: “Wow! Well… I don’t know if I should be offended or flattered. Maybe a little bit of both. Anyway. Thanks for the votes. And remember what a true African represents… more than just ‘long straight hair’. That’s what we’ve been brainwashed to believe symbolizes true beauty. The essence of African beauty is encompassed by a woman who can rock a fro, still hold her head high, and turn heads. When she knows who she is and does not feel like she has to hide that with straighteners and chemicals, that confidence scares people. That is power, honey. And that is why I disagree with you and believe that this hairstyle is a perfect choice for this pageant. Thanks for the opinion though. And keep the votes comin’! I need your help if we’re going to rock this competition.”
Anonymous: “I see where you coming from and its all good sweety, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a hip afro and wouldn’t make a girl any less pretty. And probably real handy to blend in to the whole theme your aiming for. But still, I think if want to go all the way and represent your home land, then you should worry less about looking like a typical African woman n emphasize more on your true identity ”an Ethiopian”. As u said, most people are inclined to believe that straight hair is better looking But jus as much(specially westerners) think a big ol’ puffy afro is all an African woman could have. Now C one of them Eritrian contestants (Senayt Gaim) – sure she’s not all that dark chocolate, and an African girl’s afro but still, she is a Habesha- she is an African! Wether u walkin in the streets of addis or deep in a di bushes, it’s never a surprise to see girls similar in hair texture and also complexion and almost none of them have a direct Caucasian ancestor- which makes them a true African. Just a bit different but still an AFRICAN. See what I’m saying? So i still think you could go out there with a soft shoulder long curly hair and tell em all where u, your mom and dad and their’s are from…”
My response: “But that is me yo… like really me and I’m as Ethiopian as they come. So are you telling me I’m not a typical Ethiopian cuz my hair is kinkier than the Ethiopians YOU’VE encountered? I don’t know bout that bruh. Can’t co-sign on this one. I see what you’re sayin. Ethiopians have a rep for having light skin, softer hair… but you ever stop to wonder if that’s cuz them the Ethiopians you notice? I mean… truth be told, we come in all colors and hair textures ya know? So this is me. I’m Ethiopian. And this how I came out the womb. If someone doesn’t like it… there’s really nothing I can do about it. So it seems like this is a case of me not fitting into the box you’ve created. I’m used to it. And I’m actually more comfortable outside that box sometimes. You know the crazy part though? How different peoples’ opinions are. Another chick said “I love your pic. You look so… Ethiopia.” Just goes to show that you can’t please everyone. It’s best to be yourself. That way the ones who stick around are there for the right reasons.”
This whole ‘going natural’ craze may be a fad. Perhaps I’ll go back to perming my hair at some point. However, for me this was one fad I would recommend to anyone who is trying to find a way to discover something new about herself. It takes courage. It is very frustrating at times, mainly on rainy days. But it’s worth it all.
This blog submission was written by Liya Endale. The views of guest bloggers are not the views of Ethiopian-Americans for Change. Guest bloggers represent the broad dissection of views and outlooks within our community.
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This is so interesting that I am reading this. Just this morning I talk to some body about my hair. I went and got my hair cut yesterday. I mean cut short almost bald. This guy saw me and said it is nice.They were asking me what my husband said. Oh I said he loves it. As long as I like it it is OK with him. So the guy said it is a a good thing that he is not Abesha, because he will tell every one that you are going crazy that you may need a Doctor. I guess it is Ethiopian thing to have long straight hair,girl you look good and keep it up.
I can’t believe your hair is now the center of discussion. You ET women come here and absorb the culture good and bad like a sponge. Are we subjected to this because African American women have a hair thing nowadays. I mean its well and good to have this mindless conversation about how your hair represents life and death decisions and how the world revolves around your belly button. But are you kidding me, you are going to bring EA4C down to that level ? So basically this is what goes on in your mind at a time when there are apocalyptic events such as the destruction in Haiti, the crash of Ethiopian 409 and loss of all life, the impending election and signs of armageddon in Ethiopia and what preoccupies you is what hair style you are sporting and how the world revolving around you is changing. Unbelievable !!!?
This is a great article. And whoevre you are nice hair not, I am sick and tired of people who complain about Haiti, Ethiopia, Nigeria, and Africa writ large yet sit back and do nothing about it. So before you blast Liya, please tell us what it is exactly you are doing to avert the coming armegedon?
And although you don’t know it, or fail to comprehend it. What Liya writes about strikes at the heart of the problem with our community. So to you, hair is trivial, but Liya is not writing about hair, she is writing about a complex. A complex which has enslaved us for way too long. This complex is the reason why Haiti is Haiti and why Ethiopia is Ethiopia, two of the poorest countries in the world begging for handouts. Maybe you should go back and reread what she wrote, and you will understand that Liya is not writing about physical appearances, rather a mental condition that enslaves the mind and the body.
Thank you Liya, and thank you EA4C for being a fresh of breath air, you continue to amaze me by writing about things which are often thought about as taboo in our community. In due time, your work will be appreciated.
lol- thanks to all of you for reading and writing your opinions! It’s always good to hear. I suppose I should say a ‘lil something in my defense to ‘nice hair not’.
“So basically this is what goes on in your mind at a time when there are apocalyptic events such as the destruction in Haiti, the crash of Ethiopian 409 and loss of all life, the impending election and signs of armageddon in Ethiopia”
Actually, I can see where you are coming. There are times when I lay down at night and become overwhelmed with all of the traumatic things which occur around the globe at any given moment of the day and it feels like I can’t find the air I’m surrounded by. You are right, the death toll has reached the millions in the conflict in Congo and it continues to rise, people are living without a government in Somalia, the Ethiopian history which has been written in my lifetime has and is taking turns like the plot of a Tarentino movie, Haiti’s been pummeled with unimaginable tragedy for far longer than it has been in the news when it got hit with 3 consecutive hurricanes last year, my sister went to Sri Lanka after the Tsunami and came back to report about the countless families who went from 10-20 to one man sitting on a mound which used to be his home wondering what the hell is next…Brazil, Mexico City, California… So I think it’s fair to say that you are wrong in assuming that hair is all that preoccupies my mind. I write this blog to focus on social observations, not current events. And though I do think about other world events, I do try to widen my horizons so I don’t get into this narrow mindset from which this statement of yours must have been born. These..eh hem… apocalyptic… events you describe are not new in History. The day my mother heard the Haile Sellasie had been killed, she went outside to see if the sun was still shining. The last Native American who died to defend his/her world—can claim ‘apocalypse’. Ethiopia and all the other nations, peoples-species in this world have faced what they believed were “apocalyptic events” since the beginning of time.
I commend you for your conviction- though presented here in a tactless manner which actually detracts from the legitimacy of your passion. So, I will continue writing about social observations which are refractions of larger world events– like light through a prism which shows us a rainbow. And challenge you to see the connections… and continue to read and give feedback.
Still smiling because I’m thankful
Liya
Oh- And I didn’t just absorb this American culture. I am American culture. And I’m thankful for that, too.
Excellent article and response Liya
oh weee….you’re spitting that fire girl. Men I’m blessed to know you. keep it tight!!!