Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

by Sehin Belew

EA4C Guest Blogger

Shakespeare wrote, “To thine own self be true.” It’s a saying that ought to be embroidered on a pillow or at least posted on the refrigerator. Just as o two snowflakes are alike, God created each of us differently from all others.  Therefore, when it comes to style, you can’t be afraid to simply be yourself. You can only radiate outwardly what you feel inside—and that is your style. Once you know what that is, you can build an entire wardrobe with clothes that flatter you most.

You’ve seen women dressed in designer clothes, maybe carrying an expensive handbag and walking in uncomfortable stiletto heels. As costly as their outfits were, though, they didn’t look quite right in them because essentially their clothes were wearing them.

Sometimes people ask me, “You are all dressed up; where are you going?” I respond, “It is not where I am going, it is who I am going to be with.” Right on cue, the follow-up question is, “Who is it? My answer: “Me.” After all, I am important and I dress accordingly. I freely admit that this makes me feel quite good. I maintain that you don’t need a special occasion to justify putting on clothes, shoes, and gorgeous jewelry befitting such affairs. Every day you are alive is a special occasion. Celebrate life!

I know that it is not easy to be yourself, especially if you embrace the Ethiopian culture 100%. In our culture, we are concerned about what others may say. We are so consumed by this thinking, we miss out so much out of life. I have run into so many Ethiopians who say to me, “You are brave that you do this and you do that”. When I tell them that they are entitled to the same freedom to express themselves whether it is through dance or fashion, they will say, “What would other people say?” Let me remind you: God gave you this life for you to enjoy and to do what your heart tells you to do. What you want is not necessarily what others want, so follow your own heart. As long as you are not hurting anyone, including yourself, do what you love to do and be what you want to be.

I was in the gym a while back working on the Stair Master. I was listening to my IPod and one of my favorite songs came on. I just could not contain myself so I paused the Stair Master and when to the floor to dance. I felt great doing what I wanted to do and danced as if no one was watching. In reality, there must have been at least 50 people watching me and may be even wondering what I was doing.  The point I am trying to make here is, do what you want to do without any inhibition. It is a wonderful freeing experience. The only one you need to answer to is your heart. It is your life and you only get one ride.

So it is with fashion. Just because Vogue put it on the cover or Neiman Marcus in its display window, it does not mean it is meant for your body. Vogue should not dictate what you should wear; your dressing room mirror should. Wear only what is most flattering to you based on your strengths and weaknesses. Even though there are some lucky people who can wear just about anything, that is not the case with most of us. Here are just some of the things to consider.

a)     Collar or no collar

b)     Sleeves or no sleeves

c)      Fitted or loose

d)     Low waist or high waist

e)     Long coat or short coat

f)       Solid color or print

g)     Bright colors or pastel and earth tones

h)     Short skirt or long skirt

When you go shopping, take a friend or a family member who has a good fashion sense and who is also honest. You want someone who is not afraid to tell you if the clothes don’t look good on you. Unless you have a salesperson you know and trust, you should not depend on their advice.

Before you buy any clothes, make sure you ask yourself these hard questions: Do I absolutely love this? Do like the style and color on me? Do I look great in it or just Okay?

If the style, color, and fit are exactly to your liking, then congratulations: you’ve found the right outfit.

Remember everyone is beautiful when they know that they are  at the top of  their game. There is great power in being confident in oneself and optimistic overall. It is a state of constant joy and satisfaction that can be achieved so easily when one decides to put her mind to it.

Sehin is the one in the middle with a red outfit on

Sehin was born and raised in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. She lived through political upheaval and famine in that country before embarking on a two-year journey of volunteerism, helping victims in remote famine relief camps, then finally settling in the United States to attend college. In 1988 she was crowned Miss Ethiopia. Sehin lives in northern California and runs her own business. Her company, “Sehin Belew,” provides image and style consultations as well as seminars on how to look Fabulous for Less. She’s been on more than two dozens television, radio, magazine and newspapers to discuss her new book, Fabulous for Less, Former Miss Ethiopia’s Smart Guide to Beauty, Health, and Fashion (Annotation Press, 2008).  You can read more about Sehin at www.sehinbelew.com

The views of guest bloggers are not the views of Ethiopian-Americans for Change.  Guest bloggers represent the broad dissection of views and outlooks within our community.  Please remember to cite source or link story back to EA4C.org for news aggregators that pick this article up.